Why you’re buying the wrong lingerie as gifts

Lingerie picture red bra

What lingerie he really hopes you’re buying

In general if you think it’s too trashy, or slutty, or dirty — that’s what he wants. Plain and simple. Sensual, mysterious, or sexy is how it’s sold to you. But that’s not really what we want. What guys want is dirty, raunchy, porn-y. Lingerie that is just fancy underwear or underwear made out of a different material is basically a waste on us. If you like it, great! But if you’re thinking he’s into it because it matches, or it cost you a lot, or it’s satin, it does absolutely nothing more to us than your regular stuff. It’s great and all, but it’s no “more” tantalizing. We want stuff that can be cheap as dirt, but doesn’t cover anything it’s supposed to. Stuff that wraps around your neck or covers your eyes but nothing else. We like see-thru skirts that are so short that they aren’t even really skirts – a tiny push and it’s just sitting on your hips. Sometimes, depending on the guy, you may also get added horniness points if it has some costume component (for example., nurse, schoolgirl, cheerleader). Most guys crave sexy Halloween costume season, so by tying it into the even sexier lingerie category is a likely fantasy.

He won’t judge you. He’s too busy trying to act like he’s not about to pass out from your raw hotness.

Despite the horrible sounding name, anything crotchless is also a fantasy-level lingerie for him. And bras that don’t even remotely cover your nipples – we love them. These are the type of things that make it a fantasy. The fact that it’s not even attempting to be “underwear” — it’s its own category. Garter belts also — we never really see them, probably won’t ever get around to actually taking them off of you, but it adds something to any lingerie ensemble. Alternatively, wearing ONLY garters and stockings would also create negative blood flow pressure to the brain. It’s the novelty of it. In general, if you don’t even have to take anything off, and he still sees everything, it’s exactly what our dumb minds crave. You may think it defeats the purpose, but — nope. We DON’t want “mystery”, “sexy”, and we can’t even really process “cute” — we want RAUNCHY.

We obviously don’t want you to be uncomfortable or embarrassed or anything like that, but we also don’t understand how you possibly could with how you look to us. I think it’s because, for the most part, there is nothing we could wear or do that truly gets an equivalent reaction from you. You may think something is “hot” or a “turn on”…but nothing can literally shut down your brain to the point where it’s almost painful. We want to see it for the rest of our lives, but our mind won’t let us even enjoy it past a few minutes. It’s the blessing and the curse of having a dude brain. So if you want to play off that weakness, we’ve given you some guiding ideas below.

See-thru dress “thing” with stockings – we just found out these are called chemise…no one cares what it’s called, it’ll drop him.

Fishnet lingerie WITH garter – definitely get this, garters are great, it will confuse and tantalize him. These are all good things. These are all pretty cheap on Amazon, and there are other places out there that charge a fortune…don’t spend a lot unless you want to. We couldn’t care less.

Full exposure top and garter – There is something freakishly sexy about the idea of not covering anything at all, but still technically wearing something. You may think he wants playful, or mystery — he doesn’t. He wants to see all of you, now.

Micro g-string bathing suit thing – this is just absolutely superb. Guys are so happy there are people out there making stuff like this, and they just pray they have a girl that’s down to wear it.

Sexy schoolgirl costume – it’s cliche for a reason. In all honesty though, it doesn’t matter if it’s a school girl costume or not…the real draw is a skirt that is too small to cover anything, and that you’re confident enough to wear it for him.

Choker empty top with crotchless thong – Everything exposed from the jump is a super attention getter and he might hyperventilate.

Micro g-string – if it has micro in the name, he’s gonna love it. He may not go to strip clubs or watch porns, but he knows what they may wear…and he wants you to wear it too.

Tiny thong with little tie things – Anything small, or that should cover stuff but doesn’t is a huge win. These little tie things will also pre-occupy his brain like he’s a cat, especially if you let them show them outside the top of your pants.

Expose everything with choker and eye mask – I’m thinking you may have to do CPR.

Strappy harness thing – I don’t know how you’re going to put this on, but you’ll probably be the only girl in his life that’s ever worn something like this for him. And again, the beauty of it, is he really doesn’t even need to take it off.

Bunny fishnet thing with eyemask – We don’t know if eyemasks are a new trend or we just didn’t see them before, but there is something novel and “dirty-in-a-good-way” about them.

Not covering anything teddy – this is what lingerie really should be. You may think we wouldn’t want this, but this is ALL we want in lingerie. We want you to feel so confident in yourself that you cover everything but what is supposed to be covered. It’s mind altering for us.

Bodycon see-thru dress – We picked the cheapest one we could find. In and of itself, it’s freaky hot. Even hotter, since it’s so cheap, you could tell him to rip it off of you, if you wanted. That way, if you end up not liking it, it’s a one-time wear.

Mesh “thing” – if you wore only this with nothing underneath it, his head’s going to pop off.

Crotchless garter lingerie – even though the term crotchless is a turn off, the actual lingerie concept is instant Viagra. And the leg/garter thing is like fantasy world stuff to his brain

Nurse lingerie? – They make this…this is two birds with one stone. Sexy Halloween costume fantasy, AND sexy lingerie costume. Good luck being able to pick him up when all the blood rushes out of his head.

He’s going to love these…trust us!

Want custom gift ideas straight to your email? Fill out the form below.

Valentine’s day is also a great opportunity to get him some lingerie. Check out this blog post for other Valentine’s day gift ideas for your boyfriend/husband.

Leave a Reply